Yesterday Rob and I went to Busch Gardens with my sister, bro-in-law, and nephew. It was a nice day, we walked around and rode roller coasters for about 7 hours, ate some good food, got sunburnt, and then went to a nice BBQ place for dinner in Williamsburg. Before dinner, we went to the Prime Outlets for some clothes shopping (Rob’s bday present to me), so I got a few little things and then today we finished that with a trip to Old Navy for jeans that I desperately needed!

Clothes shopping always depresses me, though. As much weight as I’ve lost so far, I still feel huge and got sad looking at clothes yesterday. I am even more determined to lose weight now, no matter what I have to do. I am thinking of taking my sister’s suggestion and calorie counting (I think I don’t eat enough), start walking in the park– and maybe eventually following in Eva’s footsteps and start running. I am thinking of starting Hydroxy Cut too. I still have birthday money that I haven’t spent on clothes yet so I think I’ll use it for that instead. I’m hoping with a healthy diet, and more exercise I’ll get some nice quick results with the Hydroxy Cut. Summer is just around the corner and I am determined to enjoy it this year. I want to wear cute bathing suits, dammit.

I have a gift card for Walmart still, I think, so I might see if they sell it there too.

Happies for today:
1) I get to mark off something from my 101 List!
2) New job starts tomorrow!!

Downside for weekend:
1) Rob had my cell in his pocket while we were on a coaster and apparently it fell out. No more phone for Jamie and I definitely can’t afford a new one right now. *sigh*

I haven’t written lately because everything has been “in between.”
I had a some appointments yesterday for Sentara (had to do my drug test, TB test, respirator fit, etc.), and that ended up being kind of sad. I did the drug test and the resp fit. But for the TB test they refused to do it because I’m “late” (even though I explained with my PCOS that my periods are unpredictable and are never really considered late), incase I’m pregnant (I’m not). And then they told me because of my epilepsy that I need to be cleared by their doctor first and get an ok from my own neurologist to work! How crazy is that?? I worked for Sentara for 3 years before, with E the whole time, and never had been told anything like this. I was tempted to argue but since I want this job I took the paper work, left, and called my doc. They were closed yesterday so I had to leave a message and they called this morning. Luckily they’re really nice and he put a mega rush on filling out my paper work for me. I faxed it to him at 11:30 and by 3:00 Sentara already had his signed copy okaying me! (Thank you Dr. K!)

I’ve been whitening my teeth for the last 5 days and I definitely see a difference! I’m going to try to get some “before and afters” up once I’m done. But I’m mega happy with the results so far!

Oh, and the icing on the cake is Jen’s having her first BABY in a few months! My other friend Jenn has 2!

Sometimes I wish life had halted around age 13. Anyone else feel like that?

Onto other things… job interview with Sentara (again) today. Wish me luck! I’m supposed to go to the mall with Crystal today but she’s not awake yet. Which means her and Kim were probably up watching movies until 5am again… I’m going without her if she doesn’t call me soon. I have other stuff to do.

*belly growl* I’m hungry.

And on a negative note: I have a spider vein. I saw the back of my leg in the mirror and thought, “Ew what’s that ugly bruise from!?” … A closer look revealed that it was not a bruise, it is a small spider vein. Blech. I called my mom and yelled at her/thanked her because they’re genetic apparently and she’s got them she said. So that blows. I’m going to get to the dermatologist or whoever as soon as my new insurance w/ Rob’s company kicks in so I can get the sucker zapped out. (or whatever it is they do)

And that is all for this evening.

(OH! PS- I bought vitamins!)

They called me on Wednesday to schedule my interview, then I worked all day yesterday, and now I have no time to go to Kinkos (like a 40 minute drive from my house), and I’m not sure if Office Max will do it. Plus I don’t know what time they open.

So the ultimate question is: Is it really unprofessional to handwrite my references?

I have been trying to decide if I want this to be a personal blog or art or whatnot… finally I figured it was best to have it be a catchall. So it’s going to be home to my ramblings and my art.

Well, for starters: I have a job interview w/ Sentara tomorrow! That makes me very happy because I’ve been thinking about going back to them lately. The pay didn’t suck and the hours were much better than NLG. This job would be in a dr’s office and not the hospital though, so that would be the only adjustment for me. On the plus side, I could wear cute scrubs and not only teal and white like the hospital made me.
I’m trying to start reading more, too. Yesterday I reread “The Lovely Bones” by Alice Sebold because of the new movie coming out soon… I wanted to make sure I remembered the book correctly and wasn’t brainwashed by the movie. I think this makes 6 times I’ve read it now. And yes, I read it in 1 day. This might explain the migraine I woke up with.

Today I read (reread?) “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath — I’ve had the book for years, and I know I read it when I got it but for some reason I couldn’t remember a word of it… yet I distinctly remember listing it before as a favorite. So I obviously liked it at some point in time. Like I said, I reread it today and I really did enjoy it. I found myself relating to Esther in so many ways (not the bad, in an asylum, ways)- how she lost her father at such a young age and directly says that because she never went to his funeral it’s like she never actually grieved for him. There were more instances, but they’ve slipped my mind now. At the end there’s a small biography on Sylvia Plath, and I also thought it was interesting because there is a quote from her husband about how when she first started writing poetry she would sit with a thesaurus and pick her words carefully and by time she got in her final depressed state she would just sit down and pretty much pound out a poem as if it were pouring out of her and she weren’t thinking about the words coming out of the pen. I’m expanding on the words, that’s no where near a direct quote. But that definitely struck a chord with me. When I used to write poetry that is exactly how I wrote. At first I would take my time, and think and repeat the lines in my head to hear how they sounded and if they were what I wanted… and the more depressed I got (this was as a teenager), the less I would do this and finally I was at a stage where I would just sit down and write whatever came out. It just happened to come out in the form of a poem, and I think my best poems were when I was in that stage, sadly. Maybe the the reason I don’t write poetry anymore is because I have been nowhere near that depressed in years? That’s definitely a good thing, but God how I wish I could write like I used to. I miss how free writing used to make me feel. The power I felt after writing a poem I was proud of, knowing the meaning behind it when I knew that most others would not.

Hmm… perhaps I’ll give writing a shot again and see what happy writing feels like.